Chanel Tyler, an entrepreneur and family woman, chats with us about balance. She speaks with us about living between the business world and the joys of motherhood.
Chanel, what does balancing self-care look like for you?
When I first started business school, I actually stopped trying to find balance across the board. I know that balance is an impossibility. I can only prioritize 2 or 3 things at a time. Basically, I can give those things my best, and the rest will have to take a backseat until I can make them a priority again. I had to accept this because last year, I was really bad at self-care which proved to be very bad for my mental health. So, in terms of self-care, I made some changes. I told myself this year that I am not going to have these lengthy, grandiose ambitions around it. I keep it simple. Every month, I allow myself two self-care moments where I am legitimately and intentionally carving out space to perhaps get a tension massage or a facial.
Also, every Friday, I book a workout class at this gym that I really like. I do my skincare routine twice a day. I take health supplements to try and help me relax, and I try to exercise when I can. But, instead of trying to do 60 minutes, I try to do 20 or 30 minutes when I can.
I noticed that when you put little things into practice, it's much easier to build long-term routines. When building a self-care regimen, start with your absolute necessities. Pick two things and from that point, build little by little. I’m also a disabled person so I have to be very mindful of my stress and tension levels.
Because of that, I make sure I get tension massages. Because if I don’t do that, I know that I’m probably going to have some sort of flare-up. A flare-up is going to result in things getting rough for me and potentially taking off of work. I don’t want that to happen so I put things in place that will help release tension. Month by month, this helps me manage my disability.
I am severely hearing impaired, and I also have tinnitus which is a ringing noise in your ear. You know how you get a ringing noise in your ear after going to a concert? That is something I have 24/7. It never goes away, but it gets worse when tension builds up in my neck. Getting massages helps release that. I had a flare-up a few months ago, but when I went to get a tension massage in a medspa, it was gone within an hour.
What are some things you do to unwind?
I love traveling, especially with my partner. He is so great. We do everything in sync, and every decision we make is mutual. I tend to travel a lot for work. Since we're parents of a young child, we set up a routine for additional childcare with my family when I travel. Fortunately, my family lives very close, and we also incorporate help from a babysitter.
As for leisure, my husband and I also set a goal to travel once every quarter together, especially for our anniversaries and birthdays. We just plan ahead for everything, and if we want to take a quick weekend trip, my parents are retired so they can help. Before we had our daughter, we traveled so frequently. We probably went somewhere every couple of weeks. And once we had her, our lives changed. We were sitting at home more whichI’m not gonna lie is challenging and sometimes a little depressing. But, we’re making it work the best way we can, and it will get easier as she gets older.
What are the top 3 favorite places you’ve ever been to?
The first place that comes to mind is Plazatano, Italy. It’s probably the dreamiest place I’ve ever been. I probably could live and retire there. I absolutely love it. The next place is St. Kitt’s in the Caribbean, and the next place is Vietnam. It’s just amazing. It is hands down one of the best places I’ve ever been to. Vietnam has an amazing culture, amazing people, and amazing food.
As for St. Kitt’s, we went there for our mini-moon m. We couldn’t take a full honeymoon because we had to take so much time off just to plan and have the actual wedding. St. Kitt’s was just a magical place, and we just relaxed. It was so low-key. We would wake up, go to the beach, go lie by the pool, go take a nap, go eat, get a massage, come back, and lie some more. It was very relaxed. When I want to relax, I always make sure that I’m picking destinations that are just for that. But, when I want to venture and do cultural things, I go somewhere where I want to do that.
For instance, I also really want to go to Jerusalem. I’ve heard so much about the spiritual experience. I’ve also heard the food is amazing. I’m a big-time foodie.
What is your perspective on food as a part of self-care?
I’m not someone who is a fan of diets and cutting things out. To me, the best joy of life is food. I don’t want to go through life eliminating things unless there’s a medical reason that I can’t tolerate certain things. That’s why I think everyone should do a blood test to find out what works for them because I also have GI issues, and some things just irritate me. So, I’m all about moderation. All things in moderation. I also love sweets but in moderation.
Because I am acne-prone, I usually center my diet around things that reduce inflammation and enhance glow. I eat a lot of fruit and grains. I try to have a relatively balanced diet with veggies, grains, and proteins for most of my meals. And then, three days a week for 3 meals, I’ll have what I want. I’ll have that creamy pasta I was really looking forward to or waffles. I believe in moderation but still enjoying the things you’re eating.
Food content creators actually help me achieve this. One of the things I love social media for is the cooking content. So, I consume a lot of healthy cooking content. I'll consume a ton of cooking content to figure out how to make healthy meals that are very flavorful. So, I don't feel like I'm making sacrifices in my diet. I think the skin and body just need a balanced diet. Turmeric, water intake, and citrus are very good for balancing your skin.
Eating foods that have great fatty acids like avocados and nuts are good too. I always try to balance my diet based on what is good for my gut and my skin. Then, I try to have my fun meals in between. I love a good cocktail, and I love a glass of wine. So, I'll give myself two days a week where I can go and enjoy a wine night with my girlfriends and a wine night with my husband during the weekend. But, during the week, I also drink a lot of water. I'm a big sparkling water person because it makes drinking water fun.
How does your Instagram convey your values around self-care?
My Instagram has changed as my audience and life have evolved. A lot of my content focuses on fashion and beauty with some lifestyle woven in. I get the most requests from women who are looking for really good fashion tips. They're like,“Chanel, just tell me what to buy.” I also focus on skincare and beauty tips. I also have a lot of moms who follow me. I’m very honest with them. I’m like, “Listen, this is hard. Motherhood is probably the hardest job I will ever do in my life.”
I’m not going to sugarcoat this and make it look easy and always fun. I try to keep it real so people can feel seen. What I’ve found is when you keep it authentic and real, people respond to that because they’re like, “I thought I was the only one. I didn’t realize I wasn't because no one talks about it." Some people try to make it look glossy and rosy and like it’s the perfect family. I’m like, “No, you don’t see all of the sleep deprivation that happens, the sacrifices you have to make in life, and the frustrating moments. It’s hard, it’s tough, taxing, and completely life-changing."
There’s a level of self that women have to mourn. You have to mourn your former identity sometimes because you lose a lot of who you were prior to becoming a parent. It’s not something that anyone can prepare you for, but what doesn’t help is making people feel like their truth is not the reality. So, I try to build a community around things that are real, things that feel good, and positive things but also challenging experiences.
How do you feel like fashion and beauty empower women to live in their truth?
I feel like fashion and beauty empower women to live in their truth because when you look good, you feel good. My platform is all about “the glow-up,” and I’m not always referring to glowing skin. I just mean the inner-outer “glow up.” The glow-up means being dedicated to self-care, what you put in your body, feeling good, feeling self-confident in the skin that you’re in, and feeling beautiful.
An example of glowing up could be not knowing what to wear or how to shop for your body type, but working to find amazing brands that work for you. And before you know it, you're able to step out in an outfit and be like “Girl, I look good. Good enough to where I’m about to post this photo! #fabulous.” It's knowing you look fabulous – that you are fabulous. It’s full circle. The glow-up is loving everything on the inside and everything on the outside. That's what I love helping women do.